Deal with your Narcissistic co-worker
Monday - February07 , 2011 Filed in: Mind
Narcissism is a defined personality disorder and is a pattern of behaviors that show a pervasive need for attention and admiration, as well as a lack of concern or empathy for others. The narcissist may switch moods frequently, all with the intention to keep you off balance. They avoid feeling vulnerable by blaming others. The narcissist woman will make you feel that you are a wonderful and special person as long as you humor her. “As long as you give me what I want, you are the ideal person for me”..
They feel a need to control co-workers, projects and situations around them, and they can be manipulative, spinning situations and facts to make it appear that others around them are the problem, not them. A narcissist attempts to make you feel like you’re the one with a problem.
The nature of the disorder makes it nearly impossible for a person suffering from it to seek treatment. Word of Caution: Because of the way people with narcissistic personality disorder interact with others, you may be the only one who realizes something's wrong.
Try some of these suggestions:
Minimize your contact with them. Ignore them in social settings, don’t respond to emails, don’t answer the phone when they call. If you have to because of a work situation then minimize the contact with them. This is for your own mental health and stability. Avoid discussions with the narcissist unless you have a witness and the discussion is required. People with narcissistic personality disorder are masters of manipulation whether it's actively manipulating you or twisting your words so they mean something other than what you actually intend.
Switch the focus. If they seem fixated on telling you what you're doing wrong, get them to talk about themselves. Ask how they faced a similar situation. That may be what they want to talk about anyway.
Pick your battles. Not every disagreement requires a fight, especially with a narcissist. If you get into a battle with a narcissist you WILL lose.
Be the person you want to be. Trying to out-control control freaks generally doesn't work; they've had a lot more practice at it than you.
Understand why they control. Compulsive behavior generally is driven by anxiety about what they view as a dangerous, unpredictable world. When you know why they act as they do, you can have compassion for their behavior.
Experiment. Ask your partner to switch roles for five minutes. You be the controller and your partner plays you. Then talk about what the experience was like.
Give time to yourself. You have the right to say, "I'd like some time to consider what you said. Let's talk again tomorrow."